Aya Bellené

I was invited to a Nubian Wedding Celebration. Not once but twice. That’s how I knew I was supposed to go. The first invitation I was going to pass on because it was from a man that is putting pressure on me for marriage, and I don’t like that kind of pressure. But when me and my friend were invited together by a boatman after our ride on a Felucca I knew I had to go.

The whole Nubian Wedding experience was out of my comfort zone. From the time we had to leave – which was 9pm, to the desert environment, and the cultural shock. But I’m obedient and I know the work that the GOD(IS) is doing within me so I look forward to facing myself and my challenges. They are training me to understand that life isn’t about the end result but the journey and that GOD(IS) within ALL. Not only in the highs of what we idolize. Like our survival or primitive needs and wants.

I am basically learning to allow myself to have the time of my life I said I wanted it. And I do. When you come from a narcissistic family background unwinding all of that to allow yourself to be in moment can be a daily challenge. So, I take it slow most of the time. But lately I’ve been put in positions that are way more extremely joyful and fast paced. This is all very therapeutic for me.

I studied Nubian women for my research in my Trigger Happy Workbook, which hasn’t been released yet because I needed more experience with the things that were being downloaded to me while I was writing that book. And to be invited to an upcoming close and personal as if I was one of their own was such an honor, it was surreal. I was in awe of being there with them. They are superstars to me.

I felt like I was experiencing an initiation of my feminine and masculine energy becoming one by being inviting to this wedding. But what I was joyfully greeted with was my divine inner little black girl. And she is so stinking cute, sassy, fun, present, and smart as a whip. She is personality for days and talent for miles. There was spark in those children’s eyes that twinkled so bright I want them to have the world. And want them to never lose their sparkle and their magic. Yet I know that they will be faced with some of the decisions all of us girls usually have to make as we make our way the best we can through life.

The scarcity dimension isn’t real yet it has a grip on the mind and captures our attention, mood, and sensations, giving it great momentum. And you can see their potential futures looking at two different archetypes of women at the wedding. Me and their mothers.

The view – My friend is a single Egyptian white- woman with gray eyes who doesn’t wear hijab. So she is picked on everyday with intrusive questions about her identity. And I am I an American that looks like them from a distant land with many possibilities in their eyes. Their mothers are traditional women in hijab with lots of duty and grimace to match. The girls were drawn to my friend and I. They couldn’t get enough of us all night and they were the sweetest little show stoppers. They told us their grievances with their mothers in-between dance lessons, snaps, and pops. And I honestly I understand their mothers and wish for them to feel better.

The girls were taking turns getting in trouble for talking to us but when their mothers turned away they would return. For their mothers a wedding day was a promise of joy and security. And in a land where women have very few rights and limited access the option where you get the most resources seems to be the most lucrative. Yet it may not big business for the economics of the soul.

My friend couldn’t stomach the evil glares we were receiving from the women of the village. I could understand those hard working mothers issue with this scene. They do all the work and then their girls are shining lights of fireworks when they see someone else who they have been told it’s a sin to be like – that would be me. But their girls are looking at me with a glimmer of hope. It’s sad but when you aren’t joyful no one wants to join you in your misery. When you aren’t free in end up in a prison by yourself.

I used to be and still am those little girls. I had those choices to make growing up. I saw my mother and what she chose and looked at other women and what they chose. I didn’t want to be like my mother. That hurt her feelings and made her feel justified in hurting mine. Yet we are multi-dimensional beings who exist here and there. And in the all is well dimension there is nothing but harmony. So, I choose not to focus my attention on our lowest level of manifestation or that would hold me back.

These spirited daughters of ISIS will confront the very same dilemmas. I hold onto the hope that they ultimately choose themselves. Embracing individuality doesn’t necessitate remaining single or rebelling against societal norms; it’s all about the celebration of self. Each person’s journey of self-expression is uniquely distinct, a delightful tapestry woven from diverse experiences and choices. This is the fascinating alchemical journey that each individual must undertake, transforming their essence into something truly remarkable and vibrant.