Cancer & Capricorn Axis |Cultivating an Intimacy With The Earthy Soulful You

These planetary transits have helped me empathize with Capricornus people. I have been thinking about my Narci-mother a lot. She is a Capricorn Sun conj. South Node. I have been seeing that Capricorn is about forward movement, block out all emotions and get to work. Lets get to the end result. Her motto was alwaysContinue reading “Cancer & Capricorn Axis |Cultivating an Intimacy With The Earthy Soulful You”

The Wrong Reflection

If people aren’t like you What are they like? If  I’m not like you What am I like? people can  see me Can’t they? I should ask them “What am I like?” I need to hear flatteries Saying nothing about me is just as bad as Shame triggering poisonous attacks makes me try harder toContinue reading “The Wrong Reflection”

I want to be lost

I want to be lost I’ve used that as a shield never before have I looked up to you and not have to feel sherds of self protection I don’t want to be hardened I don’t want that part of my life to be real I’ve tried to knock myself out The parts of meContinue reading “I want to be lost”

The Fairest of them All . . . Finally

“Hey, when she calls, right, tell her ass that I locked myself in my room, and I’m sitt’in in the corner rock’in  and I’m say’in,” makes retarded gesture and in the ghostly voice says, “whhhy . . . whhy . . . whhhhy.” The two sisters burst into laughter. “What the hell!,” Olivia can barelyContinue reading “The Fairest of them All . . . Finally”

Self-Hate Embrace

Why should I trust you again I had to love you Silent wars on you Couldn’t Breathe without you Hard to sleep, nightmares about you How did it feel Getting your ass handed to you The Door slammed in your face At 18 pregnant with me The memory is in the fibers of matrix IContinue reading “Self-Hate Embrace”

Wasteland Love

Come join me in my wasteland I promise I have a cure I lure you into my fakeland No Faceland empty promiseland subract and minus and Void plus you There are things you will find I do it to myself Questionings, Doubt, can’t feel and don’t move Scouring and Burning The sensations devouring I didn’tContinue reading “Wasteland Love”

Am I Dead?

My dreams never came true Am I dead? My biggest shame. My biggest melt down in life. I have never come back from Something in me has given up For all time I suppressed this The thought ‘I minus well be a stripper’ because I felt that becoming an object of a man’s sexual desireContinue reading “Am I Dead?”