Rag Doll

(October 27, 2011 9:27 pm est) I am tired of being your rag doll. I have spread myself far and wide for people who I could never say no to I have been a rag doll for many men A slave willingly offering my feminine sexuality Offering the opening of myself to be engulfed for nothingContinue reading “Rag Doll”

The Wrong Reflection

If people aren’t like you What are they like? If  I’m not like you What am I like? people can  see me Can’t they? I should ask them “What am I like?” I need to hear flatteries Saying nothing about me is just as bad as Shame triggering poisonous attacks makes me try harder toContinue reading “The Wrong Reflection”

I want to be lost

I want to be lost I’ve used that as a shield never before have I looked up to you and not have to feel sherds of self protection I don’t want to be hardened I don’t want that part of my life to be real I’ve tried to knock myself out The parts of meContinue reading “I want to be lost”

Self-Hate Embrace

Why should I trust you again I had to love you Silent wars on you Couldn’t Breathe without you Hard to sleep, nightmares about you How did it feel Getting your ass handed to you The Door slammed in your face At 18 pregnant with me The memory is in the fibers of matrix IContinue reading “Self-Hate Embrace”

Wasteland Love

Come join me in my wasteland I promise I have a cure I lure you into my fakeland No Faceland empty promiseland subract and minus and Void plus you There are things you will find I do it to myself Questionings, Doubt, can’t feel and don’t move Scouring and Burning The sensations devouring I didn’tContinue reading “Wasteland Love”

Am I Dead?

My dreams never came true Am I dead? My biggest shame. My biggest melt down in life. I have never come back from Something in me has given up For all time I suppressed this The thought ‘I minus well be a stripper’ because I felt that becoming an object of a man’s sexual desireContinue reading “Am I Dead?”

What Blue Ivy Will Never Have to Feel aka Trauma Vortex

8 legs in the air frantically frailling Somebody abandoned the infant Like she was a roach, a turtle, or a centipede that always screams like that anyway Bombastic squeals that no one ever hears Only what’s behind my obvious poker face reveals, the Fire in the bottom of my back Rage and under – attackContinue reading “What Blue Ivy Will Never Have to Feel aka Trauma Vortex”

Ghost

What is this Ghost that haunts, taunts, and paralyzes Subtle Powerful Threatening A glance No presence Presence in only a certain way For the rest of your life It never leaves you Just like a mother shouldn’t Off Balance Not Well Enough No place in the World Ghost Vacancy where self – assured – nessContinue reading “Ghost”