Self-Hate Embrace

Why should I trust you again

I had to love you

Silent wars on you

Couldn’t Breathe without you

Hard to sleep, nightmares about you

How did it feel

Getting your ass handed to you

The Door slammed in your face

At 18 pregnant with me

The memory is in the fibers of matrix

I could probably feel it for you, for us

Everything you said and did I was connected to you

All your snacks attached to me

Coconut Cakes, pickles

Sadness and shame

God she wasn’t on my side

Couldn’t you see it

She wouldn’t let me grow

She wouldn’t let me go

I had to drink the stuff that she is made up of

Poisonous vile acidity hatred

Cut for miles in a molten river down my spine

Some other people swim in my Nile

And we dance together

It’s a side of them

That only I see

I am the Hated ONE

It’s ok to hate me

I don’t understand why come

As fabulous as I am

God made me beautiful, as you can see

I am the the epitome of creativty

My hips are perfectly round

My skin like melt

My heart so soft

My eyes the depth

I like to move

I love to shake

I sing better than the birds

Your heart will melt

I am a mixture of the joy and the pain

I accept them both

I accept my self hatred as part of my growth.

© 2012 IAP Art Group ™ All Rights Reserved

Published by The Dawn (Aya Aja)

Aya is a Feminine Shaman that proudly shares her experiences of surviving narcissistic abuse compassionately. Her purpose is to be an inspiritress that offers alternative health solutions to bring as many to light of their personal dawn as possible. She is a sweet, youthful, benevolent spirit, who loves to share her gift of healing. She is a creator, a creative ingenue artist that is innovative to date. As a little child Aja was called "the wise woman in the basement", because adults would come and ask her for her advice and her channeled wisdom was always on point. A Gurvi, a Feminine Shaman, Reflexologist, A Dawn Goddess, An Artist, A Writer, A Public Speaker, and a regular girl.

2 thoughts on “Self-Hate Embrace

  1. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll certainly return.

  2. I feel this message was sent to me by my spirit guides and in response to why should I trust you, the only proper answer is silence and allow you to feel and know. Stare into the windows to my soul and trust that voice and answer. I am answering this in a general tone to my spirit guides. I have had the nightmarish experience all too often allowing words to speak for my true intentions and there have been far too many miscommunication and unintentional falsities manifested. Your blog post reaffirms how importance silence can be in expressions.

    💜♌️♏️

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