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Continue reading →: The Fairest of them All . . . Finally
“Hey, when she calls, right, tell her ass that I locked myself in my room, and I’m sitt’in in the corner rock’in and I’m say’in,” makes retarded gesture and in the ghostly voice says, “whhhy . . . whhy . . . whhhhy.” The two sisters burst into laughter. “What…
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Continue reading →: Self-Hate Embrace
Why should I trust you again I had to love you Silent wars on you Couldn’t Breathe without you Hard to sleep, nightmares about you How did it feel Getting your ass handed to you The Door slammed in your face At 18 pregnant with me The memory is in…
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Continue reading →: Wasteland Love
Come join me in my wasteland I promise I have a cure I lure you into my fakeland No Faceland empty promiseland subract and minus and Void plus you There are things you will find I do it to myself Questionings, Doubt, can’t feel and don’t move Scouring and Burning…
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Continue reading →: Am I Dead?
My dreams never came true Am I dead? My biggest shame. My biggest melt down in life. I have never come back from Something in me has given up For all time I suppressed this The thought ‘I minus well be a stripper’ because I felt that becoming an object…
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Continue reading →: What Blue Ivy Will Never Have to Feel aka Trauma Vortex
8 legs in the air frantically frailling Somebody abandoned the infant Like she was a roach, a turtle, or a centipede that always screams like that anyway Bombastic squeals that no one ever hears Only what’s behind my obvious poker face reveals, the Fire in the bottom of my back…
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Continue reading →: Ghost
What is this Ghost that haunts, taunts, and paralyzes Subtle Powerful Threatening A glance No presence Presence in only a certain way For the rest of your life It never leaves you Just like a mother shouldn’t Off Balance Not Well Enough No place in the World Ghost Vacancy where…
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Continue reading →: Moving out of Victim Consciousness / Experiencing Discomfort and Goodness
The very need to for me to have created a false image in place of my authentic self is a sign that something hurt me very deeply. The sign that my authentic self was judged as wrong or bad and that I took on those beliefs. I wanted to be…
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Continue reading →: The Invulnerability of Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers – Grieving
I am feeling so numb and broken down right now. I feel like some people don’t like me because there is no entry point, I don’t let people “in,” and I demand respect/boundaries. I shut people out and I show them what I want to show them. I told you…
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Continue reading →: Rant #3 – Run Bitch Run
What runs me is the programming that my mother relentlessly and violently punked into me. Which is let go of everything and let me tell you who you are and how to be. Don’t touch nothing, don’t do anything, don’t want anything, unless it is authorized by me, and that…
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BEINGness Lost and Found – Somatic Experience
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Continue reading →: BEINGness Lost and Found – Somatic ExperienceThe consistent abuse that narcissistic parents inflict on their children is imposing on our emotional, mental, psychic, and physical sense of being. However you are naturally inclined to BE is wrong. They way you talk is wrong, the way you walk is wrong, the way you eat is wrong, the…
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I’m Aya
Welcome to Aya Bellene, where I get the amazing opportunity to share my ideal of spiritual transformation in my way. Which is fun, spunky, spirited, joyful, and free! Let’s build a community that is a safe space for everyone to be empowered and expand. Tune in Focus on yourself and move forward!
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Aya Bellené 